They say when you have kids your life is over.

They say you’re cute but you’re not the “baddest.”

They say you don’t take care of your kids properly.

They say you are stupid.

They say you make dumb decisions.

They say you’re not good enough.

They say you’re a failure.

They say you’re not polite enough.

They say your kids are bad with no home training.

They say you will never amount to anything.

They count you out without giving you a chance.



I get so tired of people pointing out other’s flaws as if their flaws are the only thing that defines them. As if flaws overpower any positive attribute one possesses.

And guess what, to others they just might be BUT that is THEIR REALITY about you. NOT YOURS.

Everyone is entitled to their opinion and are going to think what they want to think regardless of what you consider your personal truth. And that is perfectly okay because you do not have to subject yourself to their opinions, thoughts, or perception of you because they’re not YOU.

They are only people from the OUTSIDE looking in, literally.

People try to tell me about myself as if I’m unaware and unfamiliar with who I’ve grown to be for 27 years.

Well listen. I have very little patience. Little to no tolerance for drama. I do not like people but like people at the same time. I can be shy. I can be quiet. I’m observant. I’m not a talker. I’m a doer. My hair is not always done. My face is not always beat. Sometimes I’m too tired to pay my kids attention. Sometimes I go to bed without washing the dishes. Sometimes I go to bed without folding all of the clothes. I have a slick mouth and I can do better with time management.

But I am also a queen. I am strong. I am confident. I am independent. I rely on no one financially. I am ambitious. I am loyal. I am dependable. I am beautiful. Drop dead gorgeous actually. I have many skills. I take care of my children. I love hard. I am priceless. I am valuable. My worth is too valuable to be determined. I am aesthetically pleasing to your mind and senses. I do not have all that I want but I have all that I need and I excel in everything I put my mind to.

Now I am not saying that what everyone observes about you is straight wrong because everyone can use some constructive criticism. What I am saying is discern who the criticism is coming from. If it comes from someone you love and trust and you know has your best interest at heart, think about it and make the necessary changes if there are any. Just do not let anyone and I mean anyone tear you down! That goes for your mom, dad, siblings, family, boyfriend, girlfriend, WHOEVER.


Here are a couple of ways I’ve used to build my confidence:

  1. State positive affirmations daily!
  2. Get reacquainted with yourself by writing down your positive attributes and things about yourself you know you need to work on
  3. Compliment others
  4. Take care of yourself. Get your hair done, nails and feet done, eyebrows, etc. (When you look good you feel good)
  5. Put yourself in a position to win ALWAYS. (Improve credit score, save your money, do not put yourself in compromising positions and if you do always have a plan b or a way out)
  6. Focus on what you’re good at, set goals and reach them! (Such a great feeling when you knock something off of your task list!)

I hope after reading this, you feel empowered to be the best you, you can be. Make sure to Learn you. Love you. Appreciate you.

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Forever a Lādē,

Tamara L. Wallace

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